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5 traits women ACTUALLY find attractive

In response to our prior article, it was time to create an article that answered the other side of the equation, and this time it's for all the dudes out there! 


It is a timeless question: what do women want in a man? Further, and perhaps more importantly, what do faithful women look for in faithful men? 

There are a lot of articles out there to consider, along with a lot of mixed advice, but we've narrowed this list down to five heavy hitters for you to focus on going forward. 

1. Confidence

Confidence is infectious, especially in a romantic partner. We all want to feel like we are with someone who is strong, self-assured, and independent. 

Confidence is a tricky one though, because it's a bit of a catch-22. Low confidence begets more self-criticism begets lower confidence. Seeing highly confident people from a distance can feel like looking through the glass at a really great party: everyone is having fun and smiling, and you're left out in the cold. Ouch.

Good news? It can be fixed. Read that again, slowly. It's true! The key? You have to decide you are going to work on it. 

Those of us that have improved our confidence have done so through a magical mix of caring less about others, learning to silence (or just quiet) our inner critic, and faking it till we make it, among many other strategies.  

I don't want to downplay the importance of improving confidence, and there are a lot of strategies to try to improve. Take a look at this comprehensive resource for more information on how you can take steps to make a positive difference in your level of confidence.  

2. Well-rounded

Think about those in your life you really admire. Chances are, they are likely well rounded in their experiences, their thinking, their behavior. 

Understanding what it takes to be well rounded really takes some self-reflection. Do you know every single Pok√©mon and can talk for hours about the intricacies of Lord of the Rings lore, but struggle to talk about something outside of your comfort zone? Can you play video games at a semi-professional level but can't run a mile unless a bear was chasing you? 

Sometimes it's hard to see what you need to improve upon, and if you feel you might be in this camp, I would highly suggest a soundboard. Someone whom you trust who can 'give it to you straight', especially if you have someone of the opposite sex who can be this resource. Chances are, they will be able to point out some areas to improve rather quickly. 

Conversely, if you feel you have nothing to improve upon, consider this a warning. We are all mortal, inherently flawed, and always in need of improvement. It is the human condition. Sometimes our inherent strengths create inherent flaws (i.e. I am very organized, regimented and methodical, but because of that, I am not very spontaneous or flexible) - so endeavor to see your strengths and weaknesses as complementary and not as flaws, but instead, blessings. 

3. Passion

We all want to engage with someone who has passions, and sees the beauty, emotion, and fire in life (even if that really is Lord of the Rings lore). If you've dedicated yourself to your passions, you have shown that you are able to dedicate yourself to something outside of yourself. 


Often, that level of passion is an indicator of what you can bring to your future spouse and family. 

If you don't have a passion, time to take a chance. Get out there and try something really cool. Glass blowing, sword fighting, sky diving, motorcycling, competitive eating (if that's on your bucket list?) - something that will expand your horizons and give you some new experiences. At the very least, you will have a great story to tell, and at most, you will likely discover a new and very fulfilling aspect to life. 

Being fulfilled in multiple ways also helps with confidence! 

4. Honor

Unpopular opinion alert: Honor still matters, even in 2021. Being dedicated to what is right, even when it's unpopular, shows a great deal of character and integrity. It also, again, shows what you will be willing to dedicate to your future spouse and family.

Conducting yourself with honor will also improve your self-confidence, because as you strive for personal accountability, a powerful mindset, authenticity, compassion, and honesty, you will find great strength in yourself. Your future spouse will feel it too. 

5. Humor

Humor is key, and we are all capable of humor. You simply must find your voice!

Do you appreciate physical humor? Or are dad jokes more your thing? If you can appreciate humor, you are capable of creating your own, even if they are tired Lord of the Rings references. 

So, how do you develop your sense of humor? That's a bit of a more involved process that's above my pay grade, however there are some fantastic resources available to provide some perspective and ideas. And, you should practice! 

Spend time with friends and practice! Try jokes, sharp comments, observational humor, sarcasm, try it all. Eventually, you will find what feels/sounds right to you.

In summary...

This is (obviously) not an exhaustive list of what the opposite sex finds attractive in men, but it's a great way to get started on a path to self improvement for you, and for your future spouse and family. So, say a prayer, open your mind, and get to work gents! 

And as always, don't forget to enjoy the ride! 



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