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5 things men ACTUALLY find attractive

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There are a great deal of misconceptions about what men ACTUALLY find attractive in a mate. So many, in fact, entire industries are built on selling women an ideal version of themselves, and to always keep them second guessing on what men might actually want in order to buy product A, or sign up for service B.

In reality, the traits that men find most attractive are rather simple, and are often shared by both genders. Really! 

1. Model body types 

WAIT! This doesn't mean exactly what you think it means! Let me explain:

A recent study asked both men and women to describe their perceptions of what the opposite prefers with respect to body size and body composition. Interestingly enough as the study concludes: "women think men desire thinner and less female bodies than men actually do". 

This is resoundingly true with men across the spectrum, and while not true for every man, most men are more attracted to "real" body types, and not unattainable, idealistic versions of women's body types. 

While everyone has a preference of some sort, more than anything, men want women who respect themselves and their bodies, regardless of what dress size they actually fit in. If you are actively trying to better yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually, the vast majority of men will find you attractive.

2. Confidence

Men love women who know themselves and are confident in who they are. Usually, women find the same quality attractive in men.


It's simple. This article explains it perfectly: 

    "When somebody has true confidence in themselves, it conditions us to arrive at certain conclusions         about their personality and lifestyle...high self-esteem also comes with an inherent skill that is                lacking in so many of us, the ability to think positively."

Confidence radiates calm, reassurance, strength (feminine strength as well - yes, really!) and positivity, so of course men find this trait very attractive! 

3. Compassion

Compassion is a hugely attractive trait, once again, for both sexes. We all want our potential partners and (hopefully) future spouses to treat others with compassion, as they may be called upon to treat our children, our parents or other loved ones, or even ourselves with compassion as we deal with life's invariable twists and turns. 

According to this study, "if you want to improve your attractiveness, strengthening the content of your character may be the most effective thing you can do". Kindness and compassion are a huge component of what we, as humans, see in each other. For this reason, compassion is a very attractive trait for men searching for a mate! 

4. Sense of humor

Most men appreciate humor. Even more, most men love making their significant other laugh. Most men will go to insane lengths to get a laugh out of their spouse and will make a fool of themselves just to get some sort of reaction or snicker from the one they care about. 

A great deal of men also believe that humor is a beautiful trait in a woman. Especially those that appreciate a well placed dad joke here, or a witty comment there. That being said, all things in balance. It can be hard to deal with a veritable Robin Williams while trying to enjoy a glass of wine and tapas at a nice restaurant, regardless of gender! 

Mrs. Doubtfire makes a movie quite entertaining, but can make a quiet dinner an absolute drag.

Pro tip - you don't have to laugh at a guy's jokes out of pity. A lot of guys will work harder to make you laugh if you don't patronize us! 

5. Positive attitude

Above all, positivity is a hugely attractive trait that men actively seek out when dating. It can be relatively hard to find. Often, this is because of how difficult dating is in 2021 (or just how difficult 2020 has been; take your pick). 

Positivity and confidence, as we stated earlier, are very much intertwined. If you are actively engaged in bettering yourself, involved in your career, church, community, family, health, and are working on improvement, you will find these traits will soon follow. 

More than anything, men desire a genuine connection. Not all men will be compatible with all women (just as the inverse is true), but God does have a plan for us all, and if he wills it, your ideal match is out there waiting for you. 

It's all just a matter of time. 

For now, be thankful and enjoy the ride. 


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