3 powerful tips for self improvement while dating

Self-improvement is a hot topic, and a multi-billion dollar business. Just like any noisy subject with many opinions, ideas and suggestions, there are a lot of less than helpful conversations out there to consider. 

Think of advice like "be more confident" and "there are plenty of fish in the sea". 

Not helpful, and frankly, counterproductive for those of us that are looking for actionable advice to take into the modern dating world. 

We've gathered some great advice to get you started on a path to self improvement while dating. 

1. Don't focus on dating. READ THAT AGAIN! 

The main focus of self-improvement should be just that - on the self. While we are looking to improve ourselves for the future relationships, family and life that we are looking to create and support in the years to come, let self-improvement be a selfish act for the benefit of future relationships. 

Bottom line: if you don't know yourself well, you won't be able to share yourself easily with a significant other. The more you work on knowing yourself, the more you will be able to share yourself: your likes and dislikes, your quarks and intricacies, your strengths and weaknesses. 

2. Active listening

This is somewhat older advice, but if you haven't yet heard of or tried active listening, now is the time (it's no secret that CatholicLuv is a fan - we keep writing about it)! So, what is active listening? 

In a nutshell, the goal of active listening is for the other party to know that they have been heard. Some tips here are self explanatory (eye contact, for example), but others are more difficult and can require some practice to master. A good example here would be paraphrasing - using a short summary repeated back to the speaker to let them know that their point was heard and understood. These tools are extremely powerful at making great connections, and get a lot easier with practice. Read a bit more on active listening here. 

3. Mindfulness

Ok, I get it. In the year 2021, mindfulness feels worn out and passé. We've all been promised that mindfulness can do everything short of stopping time, and we're all probably a bit worn out with reading more about this topic. 

It's important though, because it works. In a nutshell, mindfulness is the ability to be completely present in a moment, letting all other things go and accepting the world for what it is right now, without judgement. 

While dating, this allows us to be more present in the moment, understanding without judgement, and meeting new people where they are for who they are. Combined with active listening, mindfulness can make meeting new people both relaxing and exhilarating, as you will find yourself more open to listening and learning without judgement.

So, while dating is a time to look outward into the world in an attempt to find a perfect puzzle piece, don't lose yourself in that process. In fact, spend some more time on yourself - your future significant other will thank you for it!